Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Round 2 - Team # 16 (Akash & Ayush) #FTC1516

*) - Deja-vu Discovery


A fourteen year old boy on a island watches his father getting away in a ship, Father where are you going, don’t leave me behind, father, father…shouts the boy and kept shouting until he woke up. 
The dream has gone still he was hearing someone’s shout with a knock at his door, captain, captain…. it’s the pirates, we are under attack. 

Captain could hear the sound of swords hitting sword, he came out quickly with a pistol in his left hand and a sword in the right. In a matter of time one pirate was shot in the head by him and then he roared- kill them all. 

One of the pirates reached to attack captain when he swing his sword….how dare you…. 
Flashbacks, 

How dare you swing your sword against your brother? 
The kid didn’t reply stood still with his head down. 
Do you know how hard it is for me a knight a civil governor who solves problems of his people can’t solve one and only problem of his life, you. 
Present, 

The pirate had the idea, if he would succeed in killing the captain, his main problem would be solved and he could capture the ship easily but he wasn’t aware that the captain himself was a great sword fighter. 

Just one sharp swing by the sword of captain and the pirates head fell into the sea. 
Captain took a view all around from a higher place. The ship was being attacked from both sides, just in seconds he came to know what needs to be done to save his crew and the ship. 
The main ship (Sao Gabriel) being attacked was followed by two secondary ships, captain used them as a protection layer from both side used cannons to slowdown the pirate’s ship while most of the crew from both the ship entered into the bigger one following the order of the leader. 
The idea was to use those two smaller ships as a camouflage, having increased the crew member he got more than enough people to work for speeding up the main ship. 
In a moment of few minutes chase, pirates lost their will to follow Sao Gabriel and returned back to those two ships left behind. 

Here at the Sao Gabriel crew member cheered of escaping the pirates but captain had other worries. 
Captain’s second in command asked – where are we heading now sir? 
Flashback,  
Where are we going, asked the boy enthusiastically from his father as it’s his first voyage into the sea? 

To the deserted island 
They left the sea beach far behind when the boy noticed dolphins. The boy was amazed as he had never seen that lovely creature before, he just had heard about it from the travellers. 
Why do they only be seen in the ocean? 
I don’t know that son but I have heard stories about a continent where the dolphins live in the rivers. 
Really father, one day I’ll go there tells the boy with innocence smile on his face but his father didn’t reply. 
Present, 
Captain didn’t reply and went into his chamber. Few weeks had been passed after the event of escaping the attack of pirates. 
Captain had no idea where are they now. The crew already had started losing their patience, increased member led to the scarcity of food and now everyone was ready to kill each other if they had to, for surviving. 
Captain, we need to leave few of the crew behind if we want to survive with our limited supplies, told second in command reaching nearer to him. 
What did you say?
Sir we need to leave………. 

Flashback, 
Father…. Shouts the boy, don’t leave me behind while running later swimming toward his ship but started drowning. He came out of water crying in fear when he saw a message written on the sand. 
Dear son 
You don’t know how much I am going to hate myself for what I have done to you, leaving you alone on a deserted island might have made me the worst father of this or any other world but you gave me no choice except doing this to teach you a lesson. You’ve been a big trouble for me which I can’t keep up with. I don’t need the son who is 14 year old and still act like some spoiled child, I need a mature one who is ready to take responsibilities, be the real son of your father “Estevao” use the yak which I left for you, “find a way” and reach to your home where I am waiting for you. 
Your father 

Present, 
We need to leave few of them behind sir…… 
We won’t….. 
But sir if we don’t do that we would starve to death. 
Then death it is. I would like to die starving rather than dropping them into ocean with empty yaks having no food supplies. 
But sir, before the second in command could say anything else captain saw something. 

Flashback, 
It’s been two days since the boy started his journey to his home but the ocean became a puzzle to him, every direction whether it is north, south, east or west looked same. 
His homeland shouldn’t have been too far but he has no idea how to find a right way to reach it, and then he saw the dolphins going in a direction whom he saw two days ago when he was on his way to the island. 
He hadn’t forgot, that when he crossed them his ship was coming straight from north and that’s where he started paddling shouting loudly. 
I have found my way father, I have found my way. 

Present, 
Captain saw the group of dolphins, a bit different from what he has seen before, he knew that the story he has heard about dolphins is not just myths.
These were river dolphins different from others, might have travelled from river to ocean and now returning back to the river  
He smiled and ordered one of the crew to go and see all around from the top of the poll. 
A young boy hurled to the top saw around and screamed, captain I can see the shore. 
Everyone around there roared like they have won a war. 
Captain with few of the crew used the small and faster yak to reach the shore. 
Captain took the first step on the wet sand…… 
Is it the country where we wanted to reach sir, “Vasco da Gama”? 
Yes it is second in command, 
It’s “””””””India”””””””

End.
=================

Rating - 117/200 Points

Word limit penalty - Minus 4 Points 

Final Rating - 113/200 Points

I am disappointed with the artwork. Very good concept but scene transition is not smooth, multiple grammatical mistakes The best way to make sure your writing is free of grammatical errors is to practice the grammar rules for the different parts of speech and how they fit together. 

Total Points after 2 Rounds - 219/400

Judge - Mohit Trendster

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